


Remember Me When I'm Good To Go

by FollowingButterflies



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Veronica Mars Fusion, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1542206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollowingButterflies/pseuds/FollowingButterflies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year ago the town of Lawrence was shocked by the murder of Anna Milton, member of one of the town's richest families. When private detective John Winchester accused her father, Zachariah Milton, of her murder the town turned against the whole Winchester family turning John and his two sons into outcasts. </p><p>A year later and Anna's brother is determined to find out the truth behind her death. He hires his former best friend Dean Winchester to help try and solve the case even if the pair have a lot of history that is bound to worm it's way to the surface.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is currently a WIP of four parts. This fic started out as a small [ficlet](http://achillestiel.tumblr.com/post/81243980610/deancas-veronica-mars-au-because-apparently-the) on tumblr and sort of grew from there. This is what happens when you watch nothing but three seasons of Veronica Mars in the space of about a week.

Most teenagers would question their life choices if they were sat in a stationary car at three in the morning, long range and high definition camera in hand with an ass that had long since gone numb. Dean Winchester was not one those teenagers. As a long and loud yawn escaped his mouth Dean adjusted the zoom lens on his camera just for something to do as his coffee had long since gone cold. TV shows and cheesy films made tailing someone look fun and easy but in reality it was boring and you spent more time sitting on your ass counting down the hours until you could go back to sleep. There was a Calculus textbook on the back seat that Dean should have been reading, he had a test on chapters six, seven and eight the following afternoon, but he found that Calculus never made sense during the day so Dean assumed it would make even less sense during the early hours of a Friday morning. Ok yeah, he was only getting a C in the class but at least he was passing even if he did sometimes fall asleep because he’d been out late the night before tailing people. It turned out that his textbook also doubled as a kinda comfy pillow if needed.

The camera, numb ass and sitting in a parked car outside someone’s office would make him sound like a stalker or just maybe your run of the mill weird pervert but maybe those options were less ridiculous than the truth; after all how many seventeen year olds made a living as a private detective? Yes he was still a few months away from getting his private investigators licence but that didn’t stop several residents of Lawrence from hiring him.

With yet another yawn Dean looked over at the clock on his dashboard. 3:15 am. He needed to be awake for school in four hours. It looked like he was going to be sleeping through Calculus…again. He was going to give it five more minutes before he called it a night and told Dick Roman’s manic wife that the slime ball might have been a slime ball but he wasn’t cheating on her. That was until the doors to Dick Roman’s office opened and the CEO of the company, Dick Roman himself, came strolling, actually strolling, out the building with his arm wrapped around the waist of a tall and slim brunette woman who looked way too young or sane looking to be his wife of fifteen years. The woman also looked too much like a Victoria’s Secret model to just be Dick Roman’s secretary or receptionist.

“Bingo douchebag” Dean muttered to himself, focusing his camera and taking several photos of Dick Roman and Not Mrs Dick Roman playing an enthusiastic game of tonsil tennis. It was safe to say that The Actual Mrs Dick Roman was going to be pissed to high heaven and Dean was going to be $500 richer thanks to Dick Roman not being able to keep it in his pants.

By the time Dean made it back to the small apartment complex he lived in with his father and brother the time was nearing 3:45 am. There was little chance that he’d get much sleep and Dean momentarily thought of just saying ‘screw it’ and staying up, watching whatever crap was on past 3 am until it was time for school but the sane part of his brain, the part that sounded like his younger brother Sam, told him to just suck it up and get a few hours of sleep.

Once back inside the apartment Dean slunk of into the room he shared with his brother, making sure he didn’t wake Sam in the process, and pretty much fell onto his bed without changing out his clothes. Even the clean clothes he’d change into in the morning would look just as creased, neither he nor his father had done any ironing in weeks. Before the last atom of alertness turned into sleep Dean made the effort to set his alarm or there was no way he was going to be waking up for school in the morning.

* * *

Dean’s life hadn’t always been like this. There was a time when he actually spent his nights sleeping, not tailing wealthy douchebags who had nothing better to do than have sex with women who they weren’t married to. He had been something akin to a normal teenager at one point. Someone who hung out with his few friends, went to bed at a semi-reasonable time and joked around with his younger brother Sam. That was a year ago and a completely different time. That was the time back when his dad held respect in their town, which was unusual for a private detective, and before John had tried to convince the people of Lawrence that one of their most beloved families was made up of murders and accomplices. The same beloved family whose son unintentionally ruled Lawrence’s high school and just so happened to be one of Dean’s closest, and only, friends. Tragic deaths and murder accusations took their toll on a friendship though so now it was more common to see Dean sitting alone at lunch than be in the company of the few people he once called his friends.

* * *

Several hours after literally falling into bed, Dean managed to drag his, still half asleep body out of bed, thanks to both his alarm and Sam who resorted to throwing shoes at one point. He showered and dressed while still half asleep and succeeded in making lunch for both Sam and his father without adding something disastrous to Sam’s sandwich like a pickle. Why Sam hated pickles so much was one thing Dean would never understand or care enough to ask him about. John grabbed his lunch, inspecting his own sandwich for dreaded pickles, and left clutching both the lunch bag and a travel mug of coffee in his hands.  Before he left for school Dean made sure he had his laptop, camera and necessary cables so he could send the photos from the previous night to Mrs Roman when he had a free period. With one last look around the apartment Dean called out for Sam to hurry his ass up or there was no way Dean was driving him to school. Sam came hurrying out his room, bag slung over his shoulder, and gave Dean a patented ‘Sam Winchester’ look. That kid was going to be the death of Dean one day.

Dean dropped Sam off then pulled into the student parking lot, a steady feeling of despair falling over him as the building ahead loomed into view. Lawrence County High School, a sprawling institution that Dean detested more than anything else in Lawrence. Dean had always hated the school with a passion but having Castiel and Anna there for him made it bearable. Well, just about bearable.

The past year however had been hell on earth. 

Since he had moved to Kansas several years prior Castiel had always been popular with other students. He was not only incredibly smart, to the point where both Anna and Dean used to fondly call him a nerd, but he was also a keen athlete. Dean and Castiel’s elder sister Anna had spent countless Friday nights stood in the bleachers watching Castiel's football games. Dean was never that much of a football fan but he never missed any of Cas' games, that’s what best friends did after all.

While Dean could understand why so many people liked Castiel he could never figure out why Castiel himself liked Dean. Dean was just some loner kid who wore clothes he picked up from thift or army surplus stores and kept to himself. However he and Castiel had formed an unlikely friendship back in the seventh grade. It was during one of the frequent 'let's kick the stuffing out of Dean because his family doesn't crap out gold' that some of the Garrison Gated Community kids liked to partake in. Castiel had stopped Luc Porter and Raphael Lange midway through them kicking the hell out of Dean. To Dean's surprise Castiel had punched both Luc and Raphael, told them to leave Dean alone then asked Dean if he wanted to go back to his house to get cleaned up. 

When Dean had asked why Castiel did that for him the other boy had simply replied with "Because I hate bullies." The way he had said it made it seem like the most obvious thing in the world. Dean hadn’t stood a chance really.

After then the pair had become firm friends, almost inseparable, and once Dean got to know Anna the three of then became a pretty firm fixture. Anna's shocking death the summer before changed everything though. Once John Winchester was convinced that Anna and Castiel's father Zachariah had something to do with the murder most of the town turned on the Winchester family. Dean had been accepted reluctantly by the students of Lawrence County because of Castiel and Anna but from that point onwards people acted like he was either invisible or they spent more time trying to trip him up in the hallways.

Dean only had to stay in Lawrence until the summer then he was free of every single asshole who had made his life hell since he was a child and even more so since the previous summer.

Instead of braving the cafeteria that afternoon at lunch, it was Tuna Surprise Tuesday and Dean didn’t need that in his life, Dean hauled himself up in the library and opened his laptop to compose a message to Mrs Dick Roman which included photos of Dick Roman and Not Mrs Dick Roman with their tongues in each other’s mouths. While he waited for the folder containing the photos to attach to Mrs Roman’s email Dean rested his head against his unused Calculus textbook with the plan to rest his eyes for thirty seconds.

Or what he thought was thirty seconds anyway.

“Dean?” Someone said nudging Dean awake.

“Huh? What?” Dean groaned as he lifted his head away from his textbook. Damn, he must have fallen asleep for longer than he initially thought. It looked like the Calculus textbook Dick Roman’s infidelity had stopped him from reading the night before would only ever be used as a makeshift pillow. “What?” Dean asked squinting up at the figure standing over him. He recognised that shock of dark hair instantly. _Shit._ “Oh…hi Castiel.” He said straightening up and trying to look as though he hadn’t just been caught sleeping in the library.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel Milton said sounding far too polite. It wasn’t as if they were just casual acquaintances, Castiel and Dean were best friends and had been since middle school for fuck sake. Or at least they used to be.  

“Um…hi. Is there something you wanted me for?” he asked wondering why Castiel Milton of all people was talking to him. A year ago talking to Castiel would have been more natural than breathing but when Dean’s father accused Zachariah Milton of murdering his daughter it made being friends with Zachariah’s son an impossibility.

“I’m sorry for waking you.” Castiel said but once again it sounded far too polite. This was the boy who used to help Dean with launching water balloons at Dean’s asshole of a next door neighbour, things shouldn’t have been awkward and yet they were.

“Nah you did me a favour really, I have work I need to be doing anyways.” Dean explained nodding over to his laptop.

“Look Dean, you probably think you’re the last person I want to ask for help after everything your father put my family through but you’re the only person who I know can be trusted with what I’m about to ask of you.” Castiel’s voice was much harsher than it used to be when he spoke to Dean but at least he wasn’t screaming in Dean’s face which was had happened not two days after John’s accusations about Zachariah.

“Shit Cas what the hell is going on?” Dean asked, the old nickname he once held for the youngest Milton slipping out without him even realising it. Castiel’s eyes narrowed and Dean instantly felt uneasy. He wasn’t sure who was more uncomfortable with Castiel asking him for help, Castiel or Dean himself. “Sorry…what can I do to help you?”

“It would require me to hire you.” Castiel said bluntly. Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise not only at Castiel abruptness but also at his words. What had Castiel got himself into for him to need Dean’s detective skills?

“I…that’s not…” Dean heard himself mumble, an uneasy feeling creeping up his spine.

“You know I have the money Dean.” Castiel said sitting down in the chair opposite Dean making this look as though it was actually what probably was; all business.

“It’s not the money I’m worried about here Cas…Castiel” Dean said. Castiel heavily rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. “Why would you even want to hire me?” Dean asked hoping that Castiel had grown above punching him in the face if he bluntly told Castiel there was no way he’d take on this case, whatever the case was.

“Because apart from your father you’re the best private detective in the entire state of Kansas and I meant it when I said that you’re the only person I would trust with this.” Castiel said seriously. Dean’s stomach flipped several times at Castiel’s words as he wondered what the other boy could possibly ask of him.  

“Not to be an asshole but shouldn’t you hate me? I mean after all my dad did with thinking that your father was involved with what happened with Anna…you should hate me…well hate me more than you do already.” Dean asked hating how Castiel winced at the mention of his sister. A year had gone by and still her death was a sore spot to so many people, especially to the brother who had idolised her.

“I don’t hate you Dean. I could never really hate you.” Castiel said sounding incredibly honest even if his voice was still too harsh for Dean’s liking. “We were best friends once and you were very close to Anna. I know what I’m talking about when I say that you are the one person who could do this job and do it well.” The honesty ringing through Castiel’s voice was almost too much and Dean tried to push away memories of hanging out with Castiel and Anna.

“Ok…” Dean said warily. It was those memories of time spent with Castiel and Anna that made Dean sigh and ask “What exactly do you want me to do?” Castiel’s eyes took on a steely look of determination as he breathed in deeply, clearly preparing himself to ask Dean something incredible imperative.

“I want you to find out who murdered my sister.”

Dean’s stomach lurched and his fingers dug into his own thigh at Castiel’s request. He stared at the boy who he’d spent so much time since middle school but for a moment he didn’t see Castiel, he saw the smiling face of Anna Milton. Despite being just over a year older Anna had been one of Dean’s closest friends. She’d never treated Castiel or Dean like stupid kids and had always included them in whatever she did whether it was going to gigs, hunting down vintage records or going to parties. Anna’s whole outlook had been a breath of fresh air and her determination to never conform to her parent’s notion of her had been something that Dean really loved about her.

“Cas-”

“Please Dean…I can’t carry on not knowing…” Castiel tried to say but Dean stopped him. He knew how painful Castiel found it to talk about Anna.

“I…I don’t know how I’m going to figure it out but I’m gonna try Cas…Castiel.” Dean said.

“Thank you Dean.” Castiel said breathily. For a split second Dean saw a flicker of something in Castiel’s eyes; it was as if the past year hadn’t happened and everything was the same as always. The flicker went as swiftly as it came and with a curt nod of his head Castiel stood up and left Dean sat alone on the library. The reality of what he’d just agreed to hit Dean like a punch to the chest. The police hadn’t been able to solve the case of Anna’s murder so how was Dean, a seventeen year old high school student, going to manage it?

* * *

“What time did you get home last night?” John asked that night when Dean came home from school. He’d stayed late working on a few things for the school’s paper, he was the editor and the main photographer so it wasn’t uncommon for him to stay late after school. John threw a handful of spices into a large pot of chilli before turning to look at Dean with a questioning look. “Don’t bother saying before was before midnight because I didn’t get to sleep until past one.” John added before Dean could even begin to think up a lie.

“Not long after three but it was ok ‘cause I got some awesome candid photos of Dick Roman and the woman who is definitely not his wife.” Dean said taking a huge sniff of the chilli. John’s cooking was questionable at the best of times but his chilli was one of Dean’s favourite meals of all time.

“His wife’s money started up his business, you do know that right? They have a pre-nup with infidelity clauses. If he’s caught cheating then his whole business will go down the crapper.” John said bluntly.

“I know, Mrs Dick Roman told me so when I agreed to take on the case. The whole of Dick Roman’s business could go down, not that I’m complaining, because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.” Dean said bluntly. Dick Roman owned a company that was supposed to be an investment company. However, the whole of Lawrence knew he was doing questionable business behind the scenes. No one would be sorry if his business went under, well apart from Dick Roman of course.  

“Son, I know you’re good at this stuff but you don’t get your PI licence for a couple of months. You really shouldn’t be taking cases right now. Especially high profile ones.” John said warily. Man, if only he knew…

“I’m just doing the ones you’re too busy to do.” Dean said trying to sound nonchalant. “Plus I’m gonna use the money to help pay for college and get a new car, it’s not like I’m blowing it on overpriced shit like everyone else at school.” Dean retorted. A lot of the kids who went to Lawrence County lived in and around the affluent area of the Garrison Gated Community. It wasn’t that surprising to see this year’s brand new sport car parked in the student parking lot or overhear Hester Johnson and her friends talking about whose outfit cost more. It really did make Dean sick sometimes.

“Dean there’s nothing wrong with your car.” John said sounding tired. 

“It broke down twice last month and the AC is shit.” Dean pointed out. “I wouldn’t have this problem if you gave me the Impala.” Dean loved his car, he’d saved up everything for his beaten up old Dodge Charger, but it was still nothing compared to John’s beloved car.

“Son, I love you but I’m not giving you that car. Those bastards at your school egged your car last week. I’m not letting that happen to the Impala.” John said before adding even more spices to the pot of chilli. Dean knew full well who had egged his car as well which was why the principal had just so happened to find bags of pot in their lockers during the ‘random’ drug search three days before. John didn’t need to know that though because what would have meant explaining how Dean had broken into both the principal’s office to find out when the drug search was being carried out and the main office locker to steal the locker combinations of those who’d  thrown the damn eggs. “Now go and tell your brother that the chilli is nearly ready.” John added. Dean rolled his eyes but went to call Sam out of his room. The kid was becoming a real recluse and Dean was worried that the actions from the previous summer was a reason for it.

All throughout dinner Castiel’s request played on Dean’s mind. By taking the case he’d had to spend more time with Castiel than he had in the past year and that made him incredibly nervous. Both boys had said and done things before and after Anna had died that they both probably regretted. Maybe by trying to figure out what had happened the year before Dean could help bury some of the things that had been said, maybe they could return to something akin to what they were before. 

Dean made his excuses to go to his room after dinner, he claimed that homework and stuff for the paper needed his attention but from the way John was looking at him Dean knew these excuses were thin at best. Even when Dean tried to be as closed off as possible his family had a way of seeing things that he spent so much time hiding.

Instead of school work Dean looked through his laptop at all the small pieces of evidence he’d collected over the past year regarding Anna. He would have never told anyone that he’d been looking into her death, especially John, but now it seemed that his snooping might come in handy. Dean was combing through countless news articles covering Anna’s death when there came a knock on his bedroom door.

“What?” Dean called as John walked in. At least he’d knocked for once.

“What’s up with you?” John asked. “You’ve been in a pissed mood ever since you got home.”

“I had a long day, that’s all.” Dean lied as he quickly minimised the screen. John’s eyes narrowed and Dean was instantly grateful for the several passwords on his laptop that meant John couldn’t go prying. “I mean it Dad, school was shitty like always and some of the staff on the paper need a real ass kicking. Apart from that I’m fine.” Dean added but he knew from John’s face he wasn’t fooling anyone.

"Dad, Dean you will wanna see this!" Sam called from the main room. John gave Dean a worried look before they both hurried out of Dean’s room to where Sam was sat in front of their crappy little TV in the main room. Dean's stomach dropped when he saw Anna Milton's face smiling at him on the screen. He had seen that photo more times than he could think about, he was the one who had taken it after all. It had been taken a year before Anna died when Dean was at the Milton's house during the summer. Anna had spent the best part of the day sleeping by the Milton’s pool after spending the night before at Ruby’s house. Her sleepy temperament was probably why she agreed on letting Dean take the photo of her. The hand on Anna's shoulder belonged to Castiel, he had been cut out the photos for the newscast, and that same photo used to sit pride of place on Cas' bedside table. Dean wondered if it was still there after all this time.

"-Milton was discovered last summer in the family home she lived in with her parents and younger sibling. While the police have no new leads so far they are hopeful that this discovery will help with the investigation." The news reporter said grimly.

"What's happened?" Dean asked turning away from the TV screen to watch at Sam. Seeing Anna’s face for too long was just painful. Instead he focused on Sam.

"The police think they’ve found the murder weapon." Sam’s face had gone pale and Dean wanted to do nothing more than turn the TV off. Sam shouldn’t have to watch this. "They’re saying it was a crucifix of all things." Sam said with a frown. Sam was barely a teenager, he shouldn’t have had to hear about the murder of someone he knew. 

"There were tons of them in the Milton’s study, Zachariah collected them for years according to Castiel. Some of them were really rare collector’s items." Dean said glancing over towards John who was watching the screen was a clenched jaw. John had risked everything by claiming that Zachariah was guilty of Anna’s murder and he’d always stuck by his guns even when the town had turned against him.

“Do you really think they’ll find out what happened to her?” Sam asked looking over at Dean. Anna had always been nice to Sam and her death had been hard on him considering his young age. Sam probably wanted justice just as much a Castiel and Dean. Still, Dean wanted to keep his baby brother out of this as much as possible. Sam was far too young to be involved in this.

“I don’t know…I…shit I need to do something.” Dean said looking around for his jacket. It was still exactly where he’d flung it several hours before. Dean made a grab for the familiar, well-worn fabric of the jacket he’d converted from John when he was younger.   

“Dean, you’re not going where I think you’re going are you?” John asked narrowing his eyes.

“He was my best friend Dad, I can’t just sit here and watch this crap.” Dean said pulling his car keys out of his jacket pocket.

“Dean, you know none of us are allowed near that place now." John said firmly.

“Dad please…I…I can’t stay and watch all of this.” Dean said stoically. John stared back at his son with an air of weariness that Dean had despondently grown used to. “I’ll be back soon.” He said not even caring that John was pissed at him, it didn’t matter if John was mad at him when he knew that right now there was someone else who needed him right now, even if there was a strong possibility that said person would punch him in the face…again.

* * *

For the entire drive towards the Milton’s house Dean had his stereo’s volume turned up as loud as it would go. Loud music was the key to not thinking and right now Dean needed to stop thinking. Once he was at the Milton’s house he could over think as much as he wanted but for just a few minutes his brain needed to shut the fuck up. After fifteen minutes Dean slowed his car down until it stopped just near the main gates. The Garrison Gated Community, just thinking about the place made Dean break out in hives. Each family that lived there was richer than God, each one more pretentious than the last. Both Castiel and Anna hated living there with both of them planning to leave as soon as they were done with high school.

Dean wasn’t sure what he hated more, the uppity, asshole residents or the moronic security guards that manned the gates.

“Name?” The guard said in an incredibly bored tone from his seat in the security booth.

“Dean Winchester, I’m here to visit the Milton house.” Dean said waiting for someone to say something sarcastic. At one point in his life Dean knew every member of security. They must have hired new people. That was definitely a blessing seeing as many of the staff knew Dean was no longer welcome in Garrison. 

“Please sign your name, licence plate number then the time and date of your visit.” The guard replied in the same bored monotone as he handed Dean a clipboard without even looking away from his phone. Dean could have said he was freaking Elvis and no one would have batted an eyelid. Top of the line security there folks. Dean signed his name and other necessary information before handing the clipboard back. After a few moments of awkward silence the gates slowly opened letting Dean into the community. Dean could feel the hives forming already…

Dean drove through the immaculately kept streets until he drew up to the Milton’s house. While there was a main gate at the front of the community there were also guarded gates for each individual property. While most people said it was to keep ‘unsavoury’ people out Castiel always said it was to keep people in. Though it did a fat lot of good really seeing as Castiel and Anna used to sneak off the Milton’s property countless times. Though that could have been because they had the entire of the Milton’s security intel in their pockets. Zachariah Milton might have thought that his household was watched over by the best guards in Kanas but said guards were not above being brought.  

“Name?” the very familiar guard said from his seat in the security booth.

“Very funny Victor, can you just let me in already?” Dean griped. The air conditioning in his crappy car didn’t work at the best of times and now Dean was slowly broiling inside the car even with the windows down and despite how late it was getting.

“Winchester?” Victor asked sounding completely shocked by the sight of Dean. “I thought you and Milton had a lover’s tiff last year. What the hell you doing here?”

“Like I said, very funny Victor. I’m doing a school project with Castiel” Dean lied smoothly. “Are you gonna let me in or not?” He added. 

“Does Castiel know you’re here?” Victor asked. 

“Yeah ‘cause I’m just gonna turn up unannounced.” Dean quipped derisively. Victor snorted loudly and pressed the button to open the main gates. "Thanks man."

“Suit yourself dude. Don’t forget that it’s the under eighteen curfew at eleven, if you’re going to stay longer then Castiel needs to ring through and tell us.” Victor said with a knowing smirk. There was a time when Dean took no notice of that curfew and it constantly got him in trouble with the guards. The only reason why he wasn’t banned from the community was because Dean and Castiel used to bribe Victor with burgers and beer. 

Dean drove through the gates and up the main driveway to the Milton’s sprawling mansion. The only car in the driveway was Castiel’s and Dean breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t up to dealing with any of the other Milton family members. While Castiel’s mother Rachel was friendly enough there was no way Dean was up to seeing Zachariah Milton any time soon. After pulling up behind Castiel’s car Dean gave himself a few moments to think before climbing out the car and hurrying up to the front door. He pressed the buzzer several times before he heard someone approaching.  

"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked once the front door was open. The neat sweater and shirt Cas had worn to school that day had been replaced with an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans with a rip in the right knee. Dean was pretty sure they were the same jeans from two years prior when Anna had convinced Dean and Cas to go pool hopping. While scaling one of the neighbour’s fences Cas had fallen into a rose bush and torn up his jeans. Anna had spent weeks re-enacting Cas falling over the fence for her own amusement…and partially for Dean’s as well.

"I saw the news report." Dean said. "I wanted to see if you were ok." That was the truth as well. Even after everything that had gone on with Anna dying Dean was still fiercely loyal to Castiel, almost to fault.

"No one else is at home. My father went on a business trip this morning, my mother is with her sister in Aspen and all the staff have gone home for the night." Castiel said moving out the way to let Dean in. It had been months since he'd last been in the Milton's household and it felt colder than he could remember. 

“That didn’t really answer my question their buddy but you know…” Dean muttered more to himself than to Castiel. “So…are you ok?” Dean asked cautiously.

“Well considering the news are running constant reports on how they found the weapon used to bludgeon my sister’s head in I would say that I’m pretty awful right now.” Castiel snapped as he shuffled down the hallway. He hadn’t told Dean to fuck off yet so Dean took that as a good sign.

"What happened?" Dean asked as he followed Castiel into the main living room. The TV was turned to the news channel and once again the damn photo of Anna filled up the screen. Dean flicked the TV off, constantly seeing Anna’s face probably wasn’t doing Castiel any good.

"Landscapers were digging up the back garden…my mother was tired of the patio area never getting enough sun so she ordered for a new decking area to be built over down the lawn. The landscapers found the crucifix buried under a tree they were removing." Castiel said in the same polite but robotic voice he’d used earlier on that day. 

"And they know it was..." Dean tried to ask but he wasn’t sure how to word ‘How do they know it was the thing used to kill Anna’.

"There was traces of Anna’s blood still on it." Castiel said bluntly and Dean fought the urge to flinch. 

"I'm sorry Cas...Castiel." Dean said and he meant it, the last thing he ever wanted for Castiel was for him to feel this kind of heartache. "Did you know-"

"Before I asked you to find her killer?” Castiel asked arching his eyebrows. “No I didn’t but now I'm even more determined for you to help me." He added with a fierce determination Dean hadn’t heard in his best friend for a long time.

"What makes you think I can find out who killed her when the police couldn't?" Dean asked voicing a fear that had been thrumming in his brain ever since Castiel had come to Dean with his request.

"Because after me you knew Anna more than anyone else did.” Castiel said. “I don't have the skill or the equipment to find this out by myself but you do." Once again there was an honesty to Castiel voice that made Dean nostalgic for a time before last summer, a time when being around Castiel was the most natural thing in the world and an air of grief didn’t cling to everything around them including themselves. Solving a case the police had been unable to solve wouldn’t bring Anna back and it wouldn’t repair everything that had broken following her death but it would give everyone closure and hopefully stop some of the hurting.

“Ok then…we best get starting then.” Dean said with just as much determination as Castiel.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Unknown Number – 6:45am_ **

_My father doesn’t come home for two more days and my mother will be in Aspen until tomorrow morning. If you need to look around the house for anything then today after school would be the best time._

Dean stared down at the screen, his sleep filled haze confusing him as to who had text him until he realised it must have been Castiel. No one apart from his father or Sam sent him text messages anymore. Dean didn’t even know that Castiel still had his number. He sent a quick text back agreeing to going over to the Milton house once school had ended. Once again the knowledge that neither of Castiel parents would be there filled Dean with a comforting notion. The Milton family really wasn’t a big fan of any Winchester but being alone in the house with Castiel after all this time was daunting. There was still so much bad blood between them as well as deeply buried emotions Dean wasn’t prepared to think about again.

School, like always, dragged along at a ridiculous pace. The only remotely silver lining was the periods Dean spent in the office for the school’s newspaper. Despite being unpopular with the whole student body, that’s what happens when your father badmouthed the most powerful family in all of Lawrence, Dean had still been given the prize position of Editor at the start of his senior year. It was his job to oversee the whole paper and he took that job very seriously. Sure he wasn’t that keen on having a career in journalism, he heart was always set on being an investigator like John was, but it was still good to have on his college applications and it also put his photography skills to good use that didn’t include photographing rich men who couldn’t stay faithful to their wives.

Dealing with layouts, reading through articles and hoping that the new freshmen reporters didn’t let the power of free speech go to their heads was soothing. It calmed Dean and stopped him from thinking about how, in just a few short hours, he was going to be back in the Milton’s household again. He could do this though, he had to do this not just for his own peace of mind of for Cas’, he had to do this for Anna.

* * *

Driving through the Garrison community was no less daunting that day as it was the day before. The guards still stopped him like they always had done and Victor still gave him shit when he tried to get into the Milton grounds. Dean was half tempted to turn back round, go home and just chill out with Sam who had gotten a ride home with his friend Jo Harvelle. Dean couldn’t do that though, he’d promised Castiel he’d help find out who killed Ann and that’s what he was going to do. Castiel met him at the door, still stiffly and incredibly awkwardly.

“Hey…I’ve got my camera and stuff with me in case I find anything.” Dean said in a way of greeting Castiel once the door was opened.

“You…you better follow me then.” Castiel said sounding so awkward it made Dean’s skin itch. Dean followed Castiel through the house and up the sweeping staircase to the next level of the house. Dean and Castiel used to slide down the curved bannister even when they were technically too old to do so. Castiel had even chipped a tooth once when he’d fallen off and hit his face on the bottom step. The two stopped uncomfortably in front of a door painted the lightest colour of green. Castiel took a deep breath before opening the door and Dean couldn’t help but do the same.

Anna's room; Dean hadn't stepped foot inside this room since the week before Anna's death. The day after Ruby’s graduation party. Dean had been in her room for the most trivial of reasons too but at the time Anna had made it out to be such a huge thing. Because of his knowledge when it came to music Anna had had asked Dean to help her sort through her massive collection of music as well as help her find a few new bands before she left for college. Zachariah and Rachel Milton had been away, which was nothing new, and Castiel had been at a piano lesson so it had just been Anna and Dean in the house apart from the staff.

"I can't go off to college with a terrible taste in music." Anna had said giving Dean one of her winning smiles. She had been using that smile ever since she was little and she knew no one could say no to it. Including Dean. 

"You can quote Pearl Jam in your sleep, I'd say your taste was pretty sweet. You really don’t need my help." Dean had retorted but he still spent several hours helping Anna out. They sorted through the stacks of CD and vinyl’s in Anna’s room before moving on to her digital collection. Once Castiel had come back from his piano lesson he had joined them and they had ordered in Tai food. Anna had pissed off the house staff by rigging her iPod to the wireless speaker system that played music through the whole house and Dean ended up with stomach ache from laughing so much.

A week later Anna's body was found in the family library with the coroner saying that the cause of death had been a single blow to the back of the skull. As far as Dean knew Castiel hadn't been near a piano since then.

Now Anna's room looked exactly the same as it did the year before, nothing had been moved since the police stopped searching it and Dean wondered if this was the first time Castiel had been in the room since. One of Anna’s sweaters still hung on the back of her desk’s chair and her favourite pair of sneakers were thrown haphazardly underneath the desk. A jacket that Dean knew used to belong to Anna's best friend Ruby hung up on the wardrobe door and several CD cases were still scattered on the floor. Dean half expected Anna to come hurrying into the room looking for something she’d left behind before leaving the house.

Castiel stood in the centre of the room, his eyes roaming over the room but Dean wondered if Castiel was really seeing anything. If this had been last year Dean would have given Castiel some words of comfort or even a friendly hug but so much had happened between them over the past year. Dean wondered if he should even be here, his dad would kill and if the other Miltons’ found out he’d been in the house then the shit would hit the fan. It was safe to say that Zachariah Milton was not a big fan of the Winchesters, especially Dean.

“Do you mind if I look around or…”

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want you to look around.” Castiel said bluntly. Dean guessed that was as much of a blessing to snoop as he was going to get.

“Have you been in here since…since last summer?” Dean asked.

“Sometimes…when I can’t sleep.” Castiel stammered out. When he was younger Castiel was a terrible sleeper, he could go for days running on only a few hours of sleep, and when it got too much for him to cope with he used to sleep in Anna’s room. The large bay window that took up most of the space on one of her walls had a seat that was large enough for a young Castiel to sleep comfortably. Dean had lost count of how many times Castiel had fallen asleep on it when they were younger and had stayed in Anna’s room to watch films, Anna had always been the one to have the bigger TV and the good stereo system.

“I didn’t know that you weren’t sleeping much.” Dean said feeling a stab of guilt.

“You wouldn’t would you?” Castiel said. Instead of anger there was regret tinged with sadness in Castiel’s voice. “You haven’t been round much since last summer to know _anything_.” He added. Guilt flooded through Dean’s body but there was also anger. He wasn’t the one who walked away from his friendship with Castiel after all. Castiel was the one who had punched him in the face and severed ties with Dean in every way possible.

“Cas-”

“Forget about it Dean. I’ve asked you to help me, I’m not asking for us to become best friends again.” Castiel said turning away from Dean abruptly. “I’m going to get a drink, do you want anything?” he asked though Dean could tell it was more out of politeness than Castiel wanting to know if Dean actually wanted a drink. Dean shook his head, he was worried that saying anything else would just anger Castiel further. Castiel shrugged his shoulders and without another word he walked out the room leaving Dean alone.

He could have wallowed in Castiel’s sharp words but Dean was here for a reason, he was here to help Castiel find out who killed Anna, so instead he began to look around Anna’s room for something that the police could have missed. The thing was there could have been nearly a hundred things the police had missed simply because they didn’t know Anna like Dean had. They would have thought that the green sweater hanging off the desk chair was just a sweater, they wouldn’t have known that Zachariah Milton had called Anna a cheap whore when she brought it because it showed off the tiniest bit of cleavage. They wouldn’t have known that the sneakers where the ones Anna had worn when she’d been caught scaling the wall of Garrison at two in the morning when she was fifteen. She had been grounded for a month and Zachariah had threatened to send her to a reform school in the Swiss Alps.

Dean looked through Anna’s desk for quite some time trying to find something, _anything_ , that could be seen as a clue but after a while he had to admit there was nothing there. He moved on to Anna’s bookshelf, which groaned under the weight of all the countless books she owned. No matter how many she owned she would always end up buying more and never throwing any out and Castiel was just the same. Dean was leafing through several of Anna’s paperbacks she’d been reading the summer before when the phone in his pocket started to ring. It wasn’t until he looked at the screen, seeing the time in the top corner, did he realised how late it was getting. Sam’s named flashed up on the screen and Dean quickly answered.

“Sammy?” Dean said as soon as he picked up the phone.

“Hey, Dad rang me and was asking me what time you’re coming home from school. Did you have something going on?” Sam asked.

“Yeah I’ve got some school paper thing going until later on.” Dean lied smoothly. He hated lying to his brother but it was best to keep Sam out of this for as long as possible. “Is Dad at his office?”

“Yeah he’s working until late tonight so it’s just me at home at the moment.” Sam said sounding

“Sorry Sammy but I’ll be home soon.” Dean said. He shifted the phone under his cheek so he could flick through Anna’s book collection with both hands. “I can grab pizza on my way home if you want.” He added trying in the smallest way to make it up to his brother.

“Yeah sure, pizza sounds good to me.” Sam said happily.

“Great.” Dean said still leafing through Anna’s books until Castiel walked back in, a large mug in his hand. “Listen, I gotta go but I won’t be too long. See you later Sammy.” Dean quickly hung up and shoved the phone back into his pocket. “Sorry about that, Sam was just wondering where I was.”

“Oh…how is Sam?” Castiel asked. Cas and Sam had always gotten along and Dean knew his brother missed Cas as much as he did. 

“Good I guess…I tried really hard to keep him out of all this stuff last year but still…” Dean said.

“He’s lucky to have you Dean.” Castiel said. His words sounded so close to those he would have said in the past that it startled Dean into staring at his former best friend in surprise.

“You were gone a while.” Dean pointed out and, surprisingly, Castiel blushed.

“I thought you would want to do this by yourself, not have me here distracting you.” Castiel said ducking his head.

“You were never a distraction Cas and you never will be.” Dean said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. For a second there was clear openness written across Castiel’s face until something darker flashed across and Castiel shut down again, taking a generous sip of his drink and not saying anything. Dean cursed himself inwardly for being so forward and went back to looking through the books before moving onto Anna’s extensive record collection. As he was looking over the titles something dawned on Dean.

“Hey Cas…Castiel…where are the rest of Anna's records?" Dean looked across he shelves and sure enough several titles he knew Anna owned and treasured weren't there.

"They're all there aren't they?” Castiel said glancing up at the shelf. Dean shook his head. 

"No there's some missing. Remember two summers ago when we drove to that rare records faire in Oklahoma?

"Yeah, you used the money you made finding out if Ava Wilson's boyfriend was cheating on her to buy me that Bob Dylan record for my birthday." Castiel said actually smiling, the fondness in his eyes almost hurt. 

"That was an open and shut case if I ever saw one." Dean muttered. It had taken a grand total of an hour to find that yes, Ava's boyfriend was cheating on her. Ava had been pissed off to say the least and people still talked about how she’d dumped a giant Slurpee on her boyfriend’s head in the middle of the cafeteria. In fact Dean was sure there were still photos and videos of the event circulating the internet. "Anyway, do you remember when Anna went crazy when she found that mint condition copy of _Rumours_ signed by Stevie Knicks?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah...she brought us those questionable hot dogs to celebrate and you threw up on the drive back home." Castiel said shaking his head at the memory. "Why are you asking me this?"

"It's not here. None of the records she spent ages hunting down are. There are a few books missing as well." Dean noted. There was a creeping feeling going up his spine that told him he was on the right track here but Dean just couldn’t think about what that track was exactly.

"You know what Anna was like, she was pretty possessive over her stuff. She could have hidden them."

"The police didn’t find them when they looked through her room?" Dean questioned. Castiel just shook his head. A sinking feeling settled in Dean’s gut as he looked around the room. Anna had countless items she had collected over the years that she treasured and as far as Dean knew she’d always kept them in her room. “That’s weird…”

“Dean, we both know what Anna was like with hiding stuff.” Castiel said though from the quiver in his voice it was plain to Dean that Cas felt that shiver too.

“Yeah but that was mainly from your parents or that tool of a boyfriend of hers. She didn’t hide stuff from us.” Dean said and he was right, Anna _didn’t_ hide stuff from them. In fact the only three people she was ever truly honest with were Castiel, Dean and her best friend Ruby. Everyone else only ever saw a particular version of Anna, they never saw who she really was and maybe that had been for a reason. Maybe she had been protecting herself, though it hadn’t done her much good in the end.

“You’re right…damn you’re always right in the end.” Castiel said shaking his head ever so.

"I'd stay and look further but it's getting late and my dad doesn't know I'm here." Dean explained. 

“I should let you get back home to Sam.” Castiel said. “Say…say hello to him for me, it’s been too long since I saw him.” The tone of Castiel’s voice was sad and full of nostalgia from when days were simpler. What Dean would have given to go back to those times as well. Castiel saw him out the house and even gave him the smallest of smiles when Dean climbed into his car but throughout the journey back home Dean couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually doing anyone any good from agreeing to help Castiel.

What if it did nothing but dredge up hurt feelings and made the rift between Dean and Castiel even wider than it was already? Dean wasn’t sure if he could go through that pain yet again.

* * *

Castiel caught up with Dean the next day when he was attempting to shove a bag full of camera equipment into his locker. It was safe to say that Dean was doing a piss poor job of it as well. Castiel appeared just as the bag was about to tumble to the floor. Castiel caught it quickly and handed it back to Dean.

“Dean we never really talked about payment.” Castiel said before Dean could even manage to say a quick ‘hello’ or 'thank you'. Once his camera equipment was safely in his locked Dean turned to Castiel and tried to brush him off with a shrug but Castiel stood his ground. “For something like this your father charges $500 right, if there’s more information that needs discovering then the fee becomes more. How much do I need to pay you for this?” Castiel pressed.

“Cas you don’t need to pay me.” Dean said.

“Yes I do. You can’t spend all this time working on a case and not get paid for it, you rely on the money you make from this to help pay for college.” Of course Castiel would know that, he knew everything about Dean. 

“Look you don’t have to pay me ok? I’m doing this because I want to find out who killed Anna so just let it drop. You’re not paying me, end of.” Dean said firmly. 

“Dean let me pay you for this.” Castiel said almost pleadingly. 

“For fuck sake Cas!” Dean yelled and several people stopped to stare at them, well the ones that weren’t already staring. “This isn’t just a job or just a case to me, this is Anna and it’s you! I’m trying to make amends for what happened!”

“Dean I didn’t-“

“Castiel is everything alright here?” someone asked walking up to Castiel and placing a hand on his shoulder. Dean resisted the urge to either groan or just walk away when he realised it was Hester Johnson. 

“Everything is fine here. Thanks” Dean snapped.

“I was talking to Castiel, not you.” Hester snapped quickly folding her arms across her chest in a prim manner. No matter what impression her matching sweater set and pearls gave off Dean knew the girl could be a stone cold bitch if she wanted to be. “He isn’t causing you any trouble is he Castiel?” Hester added casting an eye over Dean. If he knew he could get away with it Dean would have set fire to Hester’s damn prim velvet headband.

“’He’ isn’t causing any trouble and ‘he’ also has a name Hester. I’d figure that you’d know it after sitting behind me in Algebra for three years.” Dean snapped.

“Well trouble finds you wherever you go, in fact it follows your whole family around like a ghost.” Hester said narrowing her eyes. Dean was half tempted to kick Hester in the shin or even use his stun gun on her but that would probably cause an even bigger scene.

“Hester you’re a bright girl with a future ahead of you, even if that future mainly does include you being the bored housewife of some closest Republican office worker. I would hate to have to cut that future short because you were talking shit about my family.” Dean said.

“Oh you think you’re so tough with your less than reputable home life and a lousy father who does nothing but snoop into people’s lives.” Hester hissed. Yeah, Dean was sure he was going to taser the bitch any moment.

“Hester.” Castiel said warningly because even if Castiel had just been fighting with Dean he knew that talking about Dean’s family was a ‘no go’ area. Dean was always so cagey about his family, rarely letting people into his life, but he was fiercely protective of them.

“But listen here Dean Winchester, if you even _think_ about trying to drag Castiel down into your awful world then there will be plenty of us to stop you and bring him back to what is right.” Hester hissed. “Despite what your father tried to do last year by breaking his family up, Castiel has a bright future. He’s going to move onto amazing things while you’ll still be here in Lawrence, some low rent camera pressed against your face as you become a low life snoop just like your father.”

“Dean no!” Castiel yelled as he grabbed hold of Dean before Hester ended up with a stun gun to the side.  Hester took a leap back with wide eyes and shot a look over to Castiel. “Please just go Hester, don’t worry. I’ll see you in English later on.” Castiel said calmly now despite his arms still being wrapped around Dean. Hester still looked doubtful but shrugged her shoulders. She shot Dean one last scathing look before turning on her heels and marching away. With a loud sigh Castiel let go off Dean. As Dean looked into Castiel’s bright eyes he expected Castiel to yell at him or just walk away with the same scathing look Hester had given him.

“Castiel I’m-” Dean tried to say but Castiel held up a hand. Shit, just when Dean thought they were ok he had to go and prove to everyone that he was nothing but a piece of low rent shit.

“You’re class now is Journalism isn’t it?” Castiel asked. Dean nodded, not really sure where the conversation going. “Would you be opposed to skipping it?” Dean shook his head, he could miss one class if he wanted to. “I don’t know if you still there but you do want to go to _Harvelle’s_ to get a burger?” Castiel asked almost timidly.

"Um...sure...ok." Dean said, completely thrown. "I'll drive us, your car is pretty noticeable." He added. Castiel rolled his eyes but followed Dean out into the parking lot. It felt almost bizarre to have Castiel Milton climbing into his car given the past year. "There's a random spring that will stab you in the ass if you're not careful...oh and the door sticks sometimes." Dean commented as Castiel sat down. "It's a piece of shit this car is."

"Nothing like the Impala."

"Oh man, I'm trying to convince my dad to let me have but no sale." Dean said wistfully. "One day though, one day that car will be mine." Dean started the engine, which sputtered into life after a few moments, and slowly made his way out the school parking lot. 

 _Harvelle’s_ was a diner in the centre of Lawrence that Dean had discovered when he was still in middle school. Over the years it had become one of his favourite places to hang out with Castiel, Anna or Sammy. Castiel had always loved the cheeseburgers while Anna and Sam had favoured the ice cream floats. Sam was in the same class as the owner’s daughter Jo so over time the place had started to feel like a second home. After Anna had died Dean tried to carry on going there but it felt wrong somehow, he still took Sam but the place just didn’t feel the same with Castiel or Anna being there.

“I still come here every now and then…when I can’t sleep, you know." Castiel commented as they sat down in _Harvelle's._  "Do you remember when Ellen started hiring night staff because of all the college kids that came in here ordering food after nights out? The place feels different at three in the morning so I don’t think about those times we used to come here so much. Plus I’m too tired to order anything other than coffee.” Castiel said as he looked over the menu even though Dean knew both of them had memorised the menus back when they were freshmen.

“I only really bring Sam here now because he loves it so much. I tried to come here after…y’know…but it didn’t feel right.”

“She should be here…she should be here ordering a cherry coke float with an extra scoop of ice cream then complaining about how she’d need to jog for over an hour to burn it off.” Castiel said with a sad smile. “You scared the shit out of Hester by the way, I thought she was going to wet herself. Please tell me you weren’t thinking about stun gunning her.”

“Only for a second or two. It would have been stupid but so worth it.” Dean retorted with a shrug of his shoulders. “I could never understand why you even spoke to those tools.”

“Her parents know mine, it’s easier if I smile and pretend that I like them. “ Castiel said. “This past year has easier since I learnt to just smile and pretend I don’t hate everyone.” He said almost bitterly. Dean felt a sour taste running down his throat at Castiel’s words and he squirmed in his seat. “She’s dating Inias now you know.” Castiel said after a few minutes of silence.

“Who, Hester?” Dean asked and Castiel nodded his head. “From Anna to Hester? Talk about a downgrade…” Dean muttered. Inias and Anna had been a firm fixture at school. They’d been dating since they were freshmen and everyone thought they’d end up going to the same college, getting married and living happily ever after. That was until Anna broke up with Inias the day after they graduated from high school. “Do you still talk to Inias?”

“Sometimes…he’s studying at KU so he spends a lot of time at Hester’s house on the weekends. He’s always at Hester’s house when her parents have parties. We talk but…but it’s different now that Anna isn’t here.” Castiel said sadly.

“They broke up the week before didn’t they?” Dean asked. “It was the main thing everyone was talking about at Ruby’s graduation party.” Dean had been pretty damn drunk at that party but it had been impossible to miss all the gossip surrounding Anna and Inias. In the end Ruby had put a blanket ban on anyone talking about it. 

“Yeah but I never knew why, Anna never told me and Inias doesn’t talk about her anymore.” Castiel said. “They had a huge fight the morning after Ruby’s party…Inias came storming into the house and barged into Anna’s room. They were screaming at each other for nearly an hour before she kicked him out.”

“Did you hear what they were fighting about?” Dean asked pulling out his notebook to write down what Castiel had just told him. He had never heard about this before. 

“Are you asking as a friend or as a private detective?” Castiel asked. Before Dean could reply their waitress appeared, pad in hand and a bright smile on her face.

“Hi! I haven’t seen you two here in ages! What can I get you?” she asked. The girl had been in the same year as Anna and had worked at the diner for years.

“Just two cheeseburgers, fries and cokes.” Castiel said. It wasn’t until the waitress left that he looked over at Dean nervously. “Sorry…did you want something different?”

“Nah, cheeseburger sounds good to me.” Dean said with a genuine smile. “So…do you remember what they were fighting about? Anna and Inias I mean.”

“No, I never heard exactly what they were fighting about and I was in the library when Inias left.” Castiel said. “Inias was furious though, he was really yelling at Anna though she sure gave as good as she got.”

“I bet she did.” Anna was never one to back down from a fight and Dean was starting to wonder if that was one of the reasons why she was gone.

* * *

_July 2013_

Dean had been in his banged up car driving home when he found out about Anna. He and Sam had been spending the weekend with their grandparents and were about half an hour away from Lawrence when his phone started to ring. He tossed it over to Sam without giving it a second thought. There was no way he was going to answer his phone while driving, especially when Sam was in the car with him. Dean was reckless with a lot of things but never his brother’s safety.

“If that’s Dad then tell him that we’re not far from home, we won’t be too long.” Dean said. 

“It’s Castiel, should I answer it?” Sam asked when he looked down at the screen.

“Yeah, he hates having to leave messages.” Dean said smirking at the thought of some of Cas’ more memorable messages. For someone so smart he was completely clueless when it came to leaving coherent voice mail messages mainly because they bugged the hell out of him.

“Hi Castiel, this is Sam. Dean’s driving at the moment.” Sam said in that ‘twelve year old trying to sound mature on the phone’ voice that always made Dean smile. “Wait a second, I can’t…Castiel…Cas are you crying?” Sam asked and Dean’s head whipped round to look at his brother. In all the years Dean had known Cas he’d never seen him cry once. Become angry and yell at people? Yes. Cry? Never. Without a word Dean swerved onto the side of the road, glad that it was so late because there was no other cars about, and held out his hand for the phone. “I’m handing you over to Dean now.” Sam said sounding genuinely freaked out.

“Cas? Cas talk to me, what’s wrong?” Dean asked as soon as Sam handed him the phone. On the other end of the line all he could hear was Cas’ wracked sobs. “Cas please, what’s happened?”

“Dean…” Cas choked out finally. “Dean…it’s Anna.” He said and Dean’s stomach plummeted at just those three little words. Cas could only mean one thing and it was the one thing Dean never wanted to hear. 

“We’re thirty minutes away from home, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Dean said. “Cas I’ll be there, I promise.” He said before Cas hung up. “Fuck…fuck!” Dean yelled slamming his hands against the steering wheel. He fought against the tears he knew would soon start falling but he had to remain composed for both Cas and Sam’s sakes. “I’m going to drop you off at home.” Dean said to Sam as he started up the car.

“But Dean-”

“Sam no ‘but’s ok? I don’t know what’s happened but I need to get to Cas’.” He said.  

"Cas is my friend too." Sam retorted. 

"Look I don't know what's happened but it's pretty serious, I don't want you getting stuck in the middle of this." Dean said. Sam opened his mouth to object but Dean just gave him the same stern look he had learnt from John. 

He dropped Sam off at home, giving John a quick excuse why he needed to go over to Cas’ and basically broke the speed limit to get over to the Milton’s complex. The guards at the gates leading into Garrison let Dean through without even saying a word. That was not a good sign. At the gates to the Milton’s sprawling mansion Victor simply gave Dean a sorrowful look that sent a wave of nausea coursing through Dean’s body.

The driveway was full of police cars.

 _T_ _his can’t be happening_ Dean thought as he tried, and failed, to stop his body from shaking with fear. He parked in the only available spot and ran as fast as he could up the driveway towards the house he’d spent so much time in as a child. He stopped in the doorway when he saw Cas. He was sat on the huge main staircase, head in his hands and his whole body trembling with silent sobs. Dean had never seen his best friend so broken before. 

“Cas?” Dean whispered gently. He was worried that if he spoke any louder it would scare Cas. The other boy raised his head and Dean’s chest hurt at the sight of Cas’ blood red eyes. One moment Cas was sat on the staircase and the next moment he was crashing into Dean’s arms, clinging to him as if Dean might break. “Cas…what happened? What’s going on?” Dean asked as Cas physically shook with sobs.

“She…she’s gone…there was blood everywhere.” Cas said in a hushed tone. “She’s gone Dean…” he managed to stammer out before a wracked sob escaped his lips and made his whole body shake. Dean gripped onto Cas for both their sakes as the reality of what Cas was saying hit him.

Anna was gone.

One of the only true friends Dean had ever had was gone.

One of the only girls he ever thought he could have something meaningful with was gone.

“Fuck…” It was the only thing Dean could think to say. He wasn’t eloquent at the best of times and the grief was beginning to cloud his mind even more so. " _Fuck_!"

"I...I don’t know what happened…none of this is making sense at all…she’s gone Dean…she’s _gone_." Cas choked out as he pulled away from Dean, his eyes hollow of emotions. "I can't stay here." He looked around the room as if it were a prison cell not a spacious hallway. “I can’t stay in…in the place that she…”

 _Garrison Gated Community. They spend as much time keeping the residents in as they do keeping the others out_. Anna’s voice filled Dean’s head and he tried to push it away until he realised he would never heard Anna’s voice again.  

"Come back to mine, you can stay there tonight." Dean said because he knew that if Cas stayed here any longer he’d end up breaking down even more so. “I’m not taking no for an answer either, come on.” He said taking Cas’ hand because if his friend ever needed guiding it would be in that moment.

They drove in silence, Dean not knowing what to say and Cas too drained to even think of speaking. John and Sam were asleep by the time Dean let Cas into the apartment and Dean silently thanked both of them for that. They could deal with things in the morning, right now Dean’s main focus was on his best friend.  

“I can make up the couch or you can have the camp bed in my room.” Dean said. Cas just stood there, his eyes not really focusing on anything. “Cas? Cas? Do you want to sleep on the couch or in my room?” Dean asked.

“Your room…I don’t want to be alone.” Cas said looking down at the ground like what he was saying was shameful. Dean wanted to pull Cas into his arms and never let go but Cas looked like he was going to drop any moment. Instead Dean led Cas into his room and handed over a spare t-shirt for Cas to sleep in. The camp bed was set up in less than a minute and Dean was tucking Cas under the spare sheets before he even knew it.

Dena knew his own grief would come soon but he couldn’t let it weigh him down so much that he wouldn’t be able to be there for Cas. Cas was the best friend he ever had, the only best friend he ever had really and he couldn’t let grief destroy him. He couldn’t let it break his best friend beyond repair. He wouldn’t.

Dean quickly changed into his own sleepwear and crawled under his sheets. The adrenaline flowed through his body, numbing him from any of the thoughts that would threaten to consume his mind.

"Dean?" Cas called in a tiny, sad voice. Dean rolled over to look at his friend and saw Cas stood there in the spare shirt Dean had given him and boxer shorts. "I keep seeing her...when I close my eyes I keep seeing her." He said. Seeing Cas stood there looking so broken almost shattered Dean’s heart into thousands of tiny pieces.

Dean moved his covers and motioned for Cas to get into the bed next to him. He didn't care if this was crossing some kind of line because there were no lines when they were both grieving. Cas had lost the most important person in his life and Dean had lost one of his best friends. When grief overcame everything else sort of melted away. Cas crumpled onto Dean's bed as if his whole body was shutting down with the weight of his loss. Dean pulled Cas into a tight hug, mainly for fear over his best friend breaking down but also to keep together himself.

"She's gone Dean. She’s gone" Cas whispered into Dean's collarbone. “Promise me something…please don’t leave.” Cas said sounding desperate. “I lo…” Cas choked, his tears starting to dampen Dean’s shirt. “I lost Anna, I can’t lose you too.”

“You’re not going to lose me Cas.” Dean said into the dark as he continued to hold onto to his best friend for dear life. He wasn’t sure if it was because tiredness or his mind was too jumbled up from the night but Dean could have sworn he felt the lightest press of lips against his skin before Cas drifted off into what turned into bursts of fitful sleep.

A week later John, while helping the sheriff’s department with the case, accused Zachariah of being the one to murder Anna and the whole town turned on the Winchester family. Despite the outcry of the media John had stuck by his convictions over Zachariah’s involvement. Castiel had confronted Dean over it and the resulting argument ended with Dean being punched in the face by his own best friend. The last words Castiel spoke to Dean before he walked away kept Dean awake for days, if not weeks afterwards.

_“I guess promises mean nothing to Dean Winchester.”_


End file.
